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The Relationship Cure: A 5 Step Guide to Strengthening Your Marriage, Family, and Friendships, by John Gottman
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Product details
Paperback: 336 pages
Publisher: Harmony; Reprint edition (June 25, 2002)
Language: English
ISBN-10: 9780609809532
ISBN-13: 978-0609809532
ASIN: 0609809539
Product Dimensions:
5.2 x 0.7 x 7.8 inches
Shipping Weight: 8.8 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
Average Customer Review:
4.6 out of 5 stars
190 customer reviews
Amazon Best Sellers Rank:
#2,628 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
Ah, John Gottman. Such wonderful research, such terrible titles.Anyway, I already had to return this book to the library so I can only give you my impressions-- as my sister says, "the spaghetti that's stuck to the wall." So here goes:Interactions involve people making "bids" for attention, affection, connection. When we respond successfully to others' bids, we are able to make strong and resilient relationships at home, work, school.When someone makes a bid, you can respond either by turning toward the bid and making that connection, or by turning away from the bid by ignoring it, or by turning against it by turning it into a chance to fight.So simple, right? Like Gottman's other books, the simple information is challenging to assimilate. I had to look at myself and realize how much turning away I do. And although I felt a little like an evil psychological mastermind, when I intentionally made bids and responded by turning toward bids at work-- wow. The sense of camaraderie and connection was palpable within a day or two.So although reading Gottman's wonderfully empirical research can be uncomfortable, his suggestions for successful relationships are marvelously applicable.
really insightful and helpful. This is the third book by Gottman that I have purchased so I was suspicious that it would be a lot of the same material re-worked. It was not! I really appreciate that, unlike most marriage books, the insight is useful for all relationships. I'm only 3 chapters in and it has already been helpful in identifying how I am making 'bids' and how to improve them as well​ as my response to my spouse and children.
This book should be required reading in HS. It can apply to every relationship -not just marriages. I'm even recognizing my dog's emotional "bids" now. I'm so thankful to have read this while my daughter is still a toddler. It can apply to the workplace, parenting, friendships, marriage etc. Great info and a quick read. Read it in two nights.
Thoughtful and insightful. I felt a little psychotic reading it, seeing as you are breaking down human conversation, and your responses to conversation (much of the time while reading) but overall it was very helpful and I learned a great deal. I can already see a difference in how I interact with others and how they respond to me. A must read for someone that is having difficulty connecting with others and are not sure why, or do not have any idea about what to do about it.
Will help your relationships even if your significant other does not read it! Why do I know this? Because the only person you can change is yourself. When you decide to change and if you decide to use the techniques in this book to do so then your relationships have no other choice but to change.... for the better if that is your goal. iI was absolutely blown away by the accuracy of this book and its uses. I found out so many things about my relationship with my husband. I knew it was bad .. but I had no idea how bad or how to fix it. This book gave me exact step by step instructions if you will, to apply into my daily life. . While he or she may be the problem. I can assure you that whatever you are doing as a result of it is most likely not making it better or you wouldn't be looking for this type of book. This takes Dr. Phil's (Oprah Winfrey's friend on tv) advice much further and gives you not only the reasons but the conversations you can have and the things you need to know about each other for change to take place. A true must for couples looking to get married, or recently did get married, or have been married and are looking for the door. Even you happy folks can gain by the knowledge that your doing things right by the book so you don't need to be worried.I have been making changes everyday which are affecting all the people I deal with for the better, even though for me I KNEW he was and still is the problem. LOL!Cream of the crop of relationship books and for the past 20 years, I thought that I had read them all .. This book is better than all of those put together!! Not a quick or fast read. It is more of a study book and a life guide book.
This is a wonderful book that has so many applications to relationships in your life. My husband and I are reading it together and we enjoy talking about the chapters and taking the questionnaires together. Yet it is also worthy of impacting relationships other than the intimate husband/wife one. Lessons from this book can benefit your interactions with your parents, children, friends, and even co-workers.
Awesome book! Not a fan of the name, but only because this is an important read for anyone wanting to consider any relationship in their life, be it employee/employer, siblings, parent/child, lovers, etc. Was a good follow up to Blink by Malcolm Gladwell!
As the title states, my therapist recommended this book to me after helping me realize how much I struggle with developing interpersonal relationships. The idea of bids for communication hit hard and I realized some of the things I did to drive potential friends, colleagues, and romantic partners away. There are a whole host of exercises and activities to perform in this book and while I did not do them I do believe they could help people, specifically people in a romantic relationship.
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